Now for some real jokes......................

Have you heard about the story of a Japanese tourist on his way to the airport in KLIA? What about the joke about Caesar and the Jews? What about this, the story of how a man is granted a wish by God to be simply irresistible? What about the American Jew in Petaling Street?

Let's start with the Jews and Caesar, shall we?


1. Caesar hated the Jews to stay in Rome, so he ordered that they are to be sent away. But they protest to stay on in Rome. So Caesar challenges them that if they can win a debate with him the following day, they will be able to stay on forever and ever.

That night, the elders discussed about how are they gonna represent the Jews in a debate how are they gonna win. None of them stood out because they believe they could stand out in front of Caesar.

But during that time, there was a sweeper-boy who passed by their meeting place. He overheard their conversation and decided to volunteered himself. Guess what? The elders rejected him. But he asks the elders that if he couldn't challenge Caesar in a debate, why aren't they going instead. So they have no choice but leave the fate of the Jews in his hands.

The day came and there was Caesar on his throne. On his right is his Encyclopaedia Brittanica and on his left, his elders. The sweeper-boy arrives while sweeping his way to the debate hall. Caesar was astonished because his debater is only a sweeper-boy.

So he started out by pointing his finger towards the back of the boy. The boy pointed his finger down. Caesar thought to himself that the boy was smart. To avoid embarrassment from the audience, he pointed one finger up and wave it in the air. The boy pointed 3 fingers up. Caesar was shock and he thought that he was really smart. So lastly, Caesar takes out an apple. The boy took out his bread. And Caesar surrendered. The Jews rejoiced and they threw him up into the air.

The boy demanded that he wants to continue the debate. But the elders insisted that he had won. He claims that the debate wasn't even over yet. The elders were astonished that the boy didn't even know that he had won the debate and it's all over.

So they went over to Caesar to ask him what happen and what's with all the sign languages. Caesar explains that the 1st time, he showed his finger that he is a God and he is most supreme. But the boy reminded him that there is also hell below. So he pointed his finger up claiming that he also rule the heavens. But he pointed the three fingers which clearly represents God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. So lastly he took out an apple, which represents the fall of man. But was shocked when the boy reminded him that the bread symbolises the redemption of sin by Jesus Christ.

The elders went on to the boy for his view. He remarked that Caesar pointed him to get out but he pointed to the ground that he wants to stay on. He thinks that Caesar gave him a last warning. But the boy insisted that 3 warnings also won't make him go away. Then the boy said that when Caesar took out an apple, he thought that it was Caesar's lunch. So he took out his bread which was his lunch and wave at him.



2. There was an American Jew that visited Petaling Street and was amazed by the watches sold there. There were all sorts of brand and the Chinese vendors were selling it well. So he stopped by at one of the old chinese kopitiam and asks the waiter if there are any Chinese Jews in Petaling Street. The waiter then excuses himself to ask his boss, a si apek the same question. So the boss took him aside an told him to tell the 'Mat Saleh' the answer to his question. The waiter replied to the question posed by the 'Mat Saleh' that sounds like this,

"Sorry sir, we don't have Chinese Jews here but we have apple juice, orange juice, watermelon juice, carrot juice............................."




3. A Proton Saga taxi is on its way to KLIA to chaffeur a Japanese tourist there. Suddenly, a Toyota passed by very fast. The Japanese man said, "That car, Toyota. Made in Japan. Very fast."

Next, a Honda passed by very fast. The Japanese man again then said, "That car, Honda. Made in Japan. Very fast."

Next, a Mitsubishi passed by very fast. The Japanese man once again then said, "That car, Mitsubishi. Made in Japan. Very fast."

The taxi driver was greatly annoyed because the taxi is a Proton Saga, not-so-very fast.

Next, a Nissan passed by very fast, too. The Japanese man again said, "That car, Nissan. Made in Japan. Very fast."

The taxi driver was so annoyed that he do not know whether to dump him in the middle of the journey or not.

At last, the taxi arrived at the airport. The taxi driver informs the Japanese man of the fare of RM 120. The Japanese man was shocked and demand an explanation upon the high fare imposed. The taxi driver then answered, "That taxi meter. Made in Japan. Very fast."



4. One day, God promises to grant a man 3 wishes. The man ask for his 1st wish to be a famous. He became more famous than anybody on earth. He then ask for his second wish, fortune. He became the richest man in the world. He then asks for his third wish to be the most irressistible to girls. God ask him that there are certain risks this time involving this wish. He ask God that he will not withdraw his wish and reminds God that God never breaks his promise. So God turned him into the most irresstible thing on earth - a box of chocolates!

That's enough jokes for now. My hands, i mean fingers (See! After typing out four full jokes, typo error!) gives in into temptation to get tired fingers. That's all for now. Next time I shall do my best to get shorter jokes. I need to do more research on quality and non-quality (lame) jokes soon. Ciao! (ROFL)

Do you want to see a trick?????

Here is one I can do it even without the need of videos, and here it is.





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THERE!!! I TRICK YOU!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! BWAAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! (summarised to ROFL.............)


NEXT TOPIC : REAL JOKES FOR REAL! I'M NOT KIDDING THIS TIME!

I have a BLUR FRIEND and JOKES

I have a blur friend who did the most craziest thing in pasar malam. I wasn't there at the incident time but met them (His buddies at that time) after it happen. It is about the time when he buy something, he needs to pay at that time, you'll normally think that he will hand in his money. But surprisingly, he hands in his wallet instead. According to witnesses (his buddies), the vendor was as stun as him when he handed in his wallet instead of his money. So one of them (the buddies) grab his hand back b4 he does anything worse and serious. That was 2 weeks ago.

Last week, we reminded him not to be blur. Somehow during our conversation, he asks all of us this question : Where have all the plates gone???

We answered that the cleaner took it long time ago while we were having the conversation and we knew from the start b4 answering that he was BLUR!

Well enough said. Now for the jokes.

Maybe later.

Or next time.

What a lame joke, right?

Next topic, Do you want to see a trick online?????

Bad Words, Curse Words, How DO I counter-attack them........................

Ever mutter the curse word "SHIT!" before??? Ever wonder why the word "DAMN!" is not a good word to say at all???

This is how I counter-attack people who say things like that to me or in front of me. Let's start with "SHIT!" for an instance, when one shouts out that word, there are 2 possibilities, either they are upset with something, or they stepped on one by accident. If it is the possibility, I will tend to ask them, "Where??? Where's the SHIT??? Did you see one??? Did you step on one???".

What about "DAMN!"???

This is what I would do. If one mutters such word, I was ask them this, "What dam??? Hoover dam??? Temenggor dam??? Three Gorges dam??? Rob Van Dam???"

Now here comes one famous line, "BLOODY HELL!".

My personal question will be, "If hell is hot, how can hell be bloody then? Wouldn't the blood be dried up by then? I agree you an see blood. Yes, BUT for a while, then dried up and burned. So why hell must be bloody???"

Then there is this word used by the chinese, favoured by the chinese, thanks to the chinese................. "KANASAI!".

I might just ask, "What???!!! Is that a type of 'Sai'(meaning shit)??? Is it yours, by the way???"

The 2 worst and most insulting one would be the following.

"FUCK!"

It is the most .......... (I don't know how to describe the feeling when I hear that word or even see it).

I would normally advise people to say flower as it is nicer and better since it is not a good idea to use that word to practice saying words with the letter 'F'. Hey! Isn't flower a better word???


What about "Mother! Father! (Or sometimes FUCKER!, in some cases) ", and it follows by other curse words.

Now, the worse is "Mother! Father! Where are you???!!!", used when one is having a hard time looking for something. I would ask that person, "You've got your momma's or your papa's handphone number??? Then call if you can't find them!"

"STUPID!" is a word which has actually a good meaning which is another long story, so google it to find out it's origins yourself.

And what about "BASTARD!"???

I accept this word "Busted!" as acceptable but not the former, by the way. BUT PLS DUN TRY THIS WORD: "BASKET!", it's a cover-up for that really BAD WORD!!!

LESSON LEARNT: BE CAREFUL AND WATCH YOUR WORDS!!! IT MIGHT EVEN HAPPEN TO YOU!!! AND THIS IS NOT A CURSE!!!

It's a crazy week and month AHEAD!!!

Phew! Speaking of which I'll be filled with tons of crazy schedule that will be expecting to end by the last day of the finals week. Some are part of the campus, some are not. Of course the one inside the campus is more than the one outside.

I have no time to actually post anything concerning CNY experience but will do so soon.

CIAO! Got another function to attend.................. ARGH!!!!!

This is one joke I learned during the Men's Conference back in DUMC.

There was once a young pastor who was always facing problems every weekend concerning the congregation sleeping during sermon time. One day, he decided to visit the bishop.

He asked the bishop about this problem and how he handled it.

The bishop replied with this :

"Last night, I was in the arms of another woman, whose not my wife," in a trembling manner. Then he continues by going to say that, "But my MOTHER!"

So the young pastor thought that this was very suitable then. So he decided to use this "tactic" the following weekend.

The following weekend later........................ he noticed that many people were about to fall asleep.

He began to tremble as he hold tight on the sides of the pulpit saying, "Last night. I was in the arms of another woman." As he said this, he was beginning to fumble. All of a sudden, he begins to say, "Oh no! I forgot whose arms I was in." Suddenly he remembers again, and burst out with full confidence, saying, "Oh ya! Now I remember! It was the BISHOP'S MOTHER!!!"




The End

New Year's Eve?! NOW??!!!

Yup! It's New Year's Eve now. I've realised that I have been slacking and half-dead for the last 5 days.

Today is back to my busy schedule again. And tonite, still drawing lots to see the possibilities of going for watchnite service or rather enjoy the new year's eve with my family (I mean my extended family - mum's side).

I hope my laptop is done soon after yesterday I sent it for repairs after a blue screen appears.

No compositions and arrangements are to be written to day due to the boredom encountered since I woke up. I feel so energetic, yet restless. Maybe I'd play a bit of MAPLE STORY for a change today. Can't really wait for long till Hello Kitty Online's Open Beta is open.

Too many things I have encountered during the year which interests me and here is the TOP 25 list (not in hierarchy form, too lazy to change to that) : -

1) During a nuclear explosion, u can hide in a refrigerator for safety (source:latest Indiana Jones movie).

2) Karaokes are not only mean to be in buildings by also in vehicles. For example, the Cheras Pasar Malam has this feature since the 10th December 2008(my last trip to the Cheras Pasar Malam, for the year), which was called GreenBox, part of the RedBox Karaoke Company.

3) Had a really good laugh this year since the elections of both countries, US and Malaysia. Thx to everybody who made everyone laughs. LOL!

4) "It looks something like me. It sounds something like me. He's fat and ugly. So it's not me." sounds like one of Malaysia's favourite caption of the year. My suggestion here is "What if it feels something like me. Or it taste something like me..........................." .

5) "Senior Moment" : One of DUMC's favourite phrase to depict memory lapse among anyone, like senior people(in some cases).

6) One way of escaping camp in XYZ (Xtraordinary Youth Zone), "GOT EXAMS!!!!!" .

7) The difference between Friendster and Facebook : The privacy in which people take advantage of you.

8) The similarity of the above : Elections seems hot in both worlds. PKR also set up a profile on Friendster.

9) Opposition party won the election but later strings of significant (& non-significant) events take place in the country.

10) Meanwhile in Thailand, I noticed that everytime when there is a new leader elected, the irony is that there will still always be a riot. The problem with this country is that they are never satisfied with what they have. Better still no Thailand, means no riot at all. "Land of Smiles". More like "Land of Riot".

11) Come to think of it, I've played in 4 orchestras 6 concerts, up to date.

12) Then, attended a competition for composition, as the 2nd youngest contestant.

13) Followed by becoming UCSI's 1st classical composition student.

14) Then written a number of works. 2 deemed as one the ultimate, and among the half abandoned, the Tsunami Elegy.

15) Come to think of it again, I've downloaded lots of video and music from YouTube this year.

16) And pictures too.

17) And buy lots of A-Cash too. With a goodie : Pirate job from Maple Story Mousepad.


18) Met several new people this year, I think hundreds of them.

19) Joined a club in UCSI that wants to do the 1st Bunkasai in Malaysia (plausible).

20) Read to many mangas online and downloaded them too.

21) Downloaded too many torrent flies too.

22) Borrowed and photocopied too many (large works for orchestra) classical scores which some can't be downloaded due to copyright issues, from the campus's library. So as downloaded whichever that can be downloaded from the internet.

23) On Friendster, too many replies till got to summarise into one on the bulletin. Now, still same problem.

24) Now, I own some programs and softwares that even my lecturers never even heard of.

25) Last and finally, (sigh) among my peers, I have the most advanced but cheapest synthesizer in the world and is none other than the Yamaha MM6.

Time for me to take a shower and Hope for thy PALING (Very) BEST during the NEW YEAR 2009 and a months later, CHINESE NEW YEAR 2009 too. ^_^

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!!!!!!! (to those who read this blog or started or etc......................)