Now for some real jokes......................

Have you heard about the story of a Japanese tourist on his way to the airport in KLIA? What about the joke about Caesar and the Jews? What about this, the story of how a man is granted a wish by God to be simply irresistible? What about the American Jew in Petaling Street?

Let's start with the Jews and Caesar, shall we?


1. Caesar hated the Jews to stay in Rome, so he ordered that they are to be sent away. But they protest to stay on in Rome. So Caesar challenges them that if they can win a debate with him the following day, they will be able to stay on forever and ever.

That night, the elders discussed about how are they gonna represent the Jews in a debate how are they gonna win. None of them stood out because they believe they could stand out in front of Caesar.

But during that time, there was a sweeper-boy who passed by their meeting place. He overheard their conversation and decided to volunteered himself. Guess what? The elders rejected him. But he asks the elders that if he couldn't challenge Caesar in a debate, why aren't they going instead. So they have no choice but leave the fate of the Jews in his hands.

The day came and there was Caesar on his throne. On his right is his Encyclopaedia Brittanica and on his left, his elders. The sweeper-boy arrives while sweeping his way to the debate hall. Caesar was astonished because his debater is only a sweeper-boy.

So he started out by pointing his finger towards the back of the boy. The boy pointed his finger down. Caesar thought to himself that the boy was smart. To avoid embarrassment from the audience, he pointed one finger up and wave it in the air. The boy pointed 3 fingers up. Caesar was shock and he thought that he was really smart. So lastly, Caesar takes out an apple. The boy took out his bread. And Caesar surrendered. The Jews rejoiced and they threw him up into the air.

The boy demanded that he wants to continue the debate. But the elders insisted that he had won. He claims that the debate wasn't even over yet. The elders were astonished that the boy didn't even know that he had won the debate and it's all over.

So they went over to Caesar to ask him what happen and what's with all the sign languages. Caesar explains that the 1st time, he showed his finger that he is a God and he is most supreme. But the boy reminded him that there is also hell below. So he pointed his finger up claiming that he also rule the heavens. But he pointed the three fingers which clearly represents God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. So lastly he took out an apple, which represents the fall of man. But was shocked when the boy reminded him that the bread symbolises the redemption of sin by Jesus Christ.

The elders went on to the boy for his view. He remarked that Caesar pointed him to get out but he pointed to the ground that he wants to stay on. He thinks that Caesar gave him a last warning. But the boy insisted that 3 warnings also won't make him go away. Then the boy said that when Caesar took out an apple, he thought that it was Caesar's lunch. So he took out his bread which was his lunch and wave at him.



2. There was an American Jew that visited Petaling Street and was amazed by the watches sold there. There were all sorts of brand and the Chinese vendors were selling it well. So he stopped by at one of the old chinese kopitiam and asks the waiter if there are any Chinese Jews in Petaling Street. The waiter then excuses himself to ask his boss, a si apek the same question. So the boss took him aside an told him to tell the 'Mat Saleh' the answer to his question. The waiter replied to the question posed by the 'Mat Saleh' that sounds like this,

"Sorry sir, we don't have Chinese Jews here but we have apple juice, orange juice, watermelon juice, carrot juice............................."




3. A Proton Saga taxi is on its way to KLIA to chaffeur a Japanese tourist there. Suddenly, a Toyota passed by very fast. The Japanese man said, "That car, Toyota. Made in Japan. Very fast."

Next, a Honda passed by very fast. The Japanese man again then said, "That car, Honda. Made in Japan. Very fast."

Next, a Mitsubishi passed by very fast. The Japanese man once again then said, "That car, Mitsubishi. Made in Japan. Very fast."

The taxi driver was greatly annoyed because the taxi is a Proton Saga, not-so-very fast.

Next, a Nissan passed by very fast, too. The Japanese man again said, "That car, Nissan. Made in Japan. Very fast."

The taxi driver was so annoyed that he do not know whether to dump him in the middle of the journey or not.

At last, the taxi arrived at the airport. The taxi driver informs the Japanese man of the fare of RM 120. The Japanese man was shocked and demand an explanation upon the high fare imposed. The taxi driver then answered, "That taxi meter. Made in Japan. Very fast."



4. One day, God promises to grant a man 3 wishes. The man ask for his 1st wish to be a famous. He became more famous than anybody on earth. He then ask for his second wish, fortune. He became the richest man in the world. He then asks for his third wish to be the most irressistible to girls. God ask him that there are certain risks this time involving this wish. He ask God that he will not withdraw his wish and reminds God that God never breaks his promise. So God turned him into the most irresstible thing on earth - a box of chocolates!

That's enough jokes for now. My hands, i mean fingers (See! After typing out four full jokes, typo error!) gives in into temptation to get tired fingers. That's all for now. Next time I shall do my best to get shorter jokes. I need to do more research on quality and non-quality (lame) jokes soon. Ciao! (ROFL)

Do you want to see a trick?????

Here is one I can do it even without the need of videos, and here it is.





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THERE!!! I TRICK YOU!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! BWAAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! (summarised to ROFL.............)


NEXT TOPIC : REAL JOKES FOR REAL! I'M NOT KIDDING THIS TIME!

I have a BLUR FRIEND and JOKES

I have a blur friend who did the most craziest thing in pasar malam. I wasn't there at the incident time but met them (His buddies at that time) after it happen. It is about the time when he buy something, he needs to pay at that time, you'll normally think that he will hand in his money. But surprisingly, he hands in his wallet instead. According to witnesses (his buddies), the vendor was as stun as him when he handed in his wallet instead of his money. So one of them (the buddies) grab his hand back b4 he does anything worse and serious. That was 2 weeks ago.

Last week, we reminded him not to be blur. Somehow during our conversation, he asks all of us this question : Where have all the plates gone???

We answered that the cleaner took it long time ago while we were having the conversation and we knew from the start b4 answering that he was BLUR!

Well enough said. Now for the jokes.

Maybe later.

Or next time.

What a lame joke, right?

Next topic, Do you want to see a trick online?????